Sleeping in rocks…

So glad I don’t have to work today. Although I do have to prepare some stuff for Sunday morning. oh well. I shouldn’t complain about that but I can’t help it. I would love to have a week where I didn’t have to put slides together or decipher a pastor’s outline. It shouldn’t take too long hopefully.

Had a great Christmas yesterday. Got two sets of the last two books in the twilight series (yes I like those books…call me crazy.) So I’ll have to return a set. Got lots of polar fleeces…yay! Now if only it would get colder than 60. I Know I live at the beach…but this is still unusual. Had lots of food, delicious sweets and fun times with the families.

Now I’m still sitting in my robe at 1:30 in the afternoon watching the season finale of Heroes and catching up on some computer stuff. I love lazy days.

Good news.

Got a call the other day from RE’s office and for once there is good news. My thyroid levels are at a 1.3 (down from a 3.75). And since they wanted me between a 1-2, I guess I’m doing pretty good. I just have to pick up my prescription and continue on the meds (Levothyroxin). I was hoping to be able to stop taking them but seeing as there are no side effects and its actually doing what it’s supposed to…I can’t complain.

I’m still trying to learn these automated voice answering systems. I called back the nurse that left me a voicemail…when I was supposed to call in a prescription…if only I’d waited for the appropriate number to press. So I got it in late. I had to miss todays dose…hopefully that won’t be a problem. Needless to say…I’m learning the ins and outs of all this stuff…just not quick enough.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and it has snuck up on me. I’ll get off at 12pm from work (for my family…go figure…I shouldn’t be working at all!) Then office party. Lunch with the in-laws. Throw roast in crock pot. Go to church. Come home eat dinner…then dessert…then bed…then CHRISTMAS!

Now off to Wal-Mart :( and home to do housework…and church work…what joy is mine.

O.M.G.

I am getting my king size mattress!!! My almost two year wait will be over. I am so excited! Now I just have to get my DH out there to try some out. I’m thinking Costco has the best deals. I’ve researched the Sealy Posturepedic…I think it ranks pretty good. Hopefully it will feel good too. I can’t believe I am so excited over a mattress but I can’t wait to have all that extra real estate!! Merry Christmas to me :)

Also I’ve been trying to research a good devotional or book (christian or non-christian) dealing with infertility…any suggestions out there?

not a good day.

Feeling quite down today. Like wanting to cry/crawl in a hole kind of a day. Not sure exactly why though? I guess it could be about the impending drama headed my way. I did have another appt today to have some labwork done. I told my DH last week my appt was at 1:30…he had planned to be there. Then last night at 11pm he told me he had a meeting at 1pm. I didn’t think this was a problem as I was meeting my mother for lunch today. I called her this morning and she had to cancel and would not be able to come with me to the RE either. Ordinarily this would not be a big deal…and I guess it really wasn’t…but there is always the chance I could pass out from giving blood. It’s happened before…and I come close everytime. So this was the first time I had to walk into that place…alone…and nervous. I did pretty good. Still get embaressed by demanding a bed. And the lightheadedness…hot flashes…I feel like such a wimp. So rested a bit and drank some cold water and finally was able to walk. I get so annoyed that there is so much about my body I can’t control. Also, it looks like my surgery may be scheduled mid january…15th or the 22nd…they are trying to coordinate with the oncologist. I should hear a definite by Friday…I’m not holding my breath.

DH wants to go out with friends tonight. I don’t know if I can muster up the energy. I’m thinking the grocery store is calling me…even though I don’t really want to do that either. But FEDEX dropped off a book I made through apple iphoto…I’m excited to see how it turned out. Hopefully it’s good…I need a perk!

so its been a while…

I haven’t posted in a few days…mainly because I try to forget about everything thats going on. But it always come back. It’s always there…in the back of my mind. I’ve been trying to contact the “scheduler” at my RE’s office. With no luck. I’ve left two messages. How is it that I can schedule some labwork for tomorrow (to test my thyroid levels again) but not be able to schedule a surgery. Frustrating.

So I did a major overhaul on my bedroom these past couple of weeks. Attacked the mountain of laundry my DH refuses to wash. Dusted…vacuumed…the whole nine yards. I’m crossing my fingers for a new king size bed for Christmas. That would be a dream come true. My queen size been is just too tight with us two and my 40 lb dog…that hogs my side of the bed mind you. NEVER let a dog sleep with you people…trust me on this. I would give anything for a good nights sleep (dog for sale…j/k).

Christmas will be here in a week. Wow. Time is moving way too quick. 2009 will be here before I know it. Not sure I’m ready for it. Odd numbered years are usually good ones (at least when I look back they seem to be)…but I have a feeling this one may be different. Does that sound too pessimistic? Maybe it is. I always like to plan for the worst. That way things are never as bad as you think. Anyone else do this?!

Why do today what you can put off til tomorrow?!

I had a great weekend with my family. It was a nice distraction from the chaos I’ve experienced this past month. Wow… a month… time flies. Had a consult with my DR this afternoon. It went really well. I feel better about things at the moment. Probably because I’ve postponed everything until after the holidays. No more stressing over my laundry list of things to do. Although I did get a lot accomplished… having a goal helps.

DR says he’s 99.9% sure that what I have is a ca125 elevated endometrioma. Not a malignancy. There is just a protocol to scare women here in the states he says. In France they would just go in and take out the cysts… here when there is a ca125 elevation… we call in the oncologist. While the oncologist will still be on call during surgery there is a pretty darn good chance we won’t need him. They will still send my cysts (3.5 cm & 3 mm on right ovary) to the pathologist to have everything tested. He insisted that he likes to keep everything intact but there is a chance he may take my ovary. Plus I have a fluid filled area which they believe is one of my tubes (ultrasound was unclear as to which one). I can’t remember off the top of my head how dilated it is (it’s in my notes downstairs) but apparently it’s dangerous… increases my risk of ectopic pregnancy. So they will remove my tube. Lets just hope they don’t take an ovary and an opposite tube… then pregnancy would def be out of the question. I also got a confirmation today that I do have PCOS. So a double whammy! My sister and I believe that a medical journal about infertility could be written about us. We cover a wide spectrum of problems from cervical stenosis… endo… polyps… cysts… PCOS… etc. At least I’m blessed to have a built in support system. So I think that is everything. I’m off to bed.

Trying not to panic.

Visited the GYN oncologist today. Liked him a lot. Had to fill out more paperwork and get yet another exam. Apparently, the CA125 tumeral marker (that was elevated in my lab results) means there is a small chance my cyst(s) may be malignant. But the DR assured me it was a very small chance. He will be on call during the laparoscopy in case things get weird. He says Endo is more than likely the cause of the elevated marker. I feel very comfortable with my DRs just anxious to get this all over with. I have another DR appt on Tuesday. Hopefully I’ll find out when everything is scheduled. It better not be when I’m having my period. That would just be icing on the cake. I’ll keep you posted on the date.

I just want to thank those who have sent encouraging words my way. I really do appreciate the heads up on what to expect and look forward to every insight you may send my way. You ladies rock!

Here it goes…

So last night, at dinner with a bunch of friends mind you, I finally received a phone call from my DR. Here are the results:

– thyroid is a little elevated, still normal, but more elevated than they would like for conception (he assured me I did not have hypothyroidism)

– my cholesterol scored a 207… max is 200 so I have to regulate with diet and exercise (I’m only 5’9, 150 lbs, 29 yrs old)

– LDL was perfect

– I have masses on my right side, not sure if on ovary or tube, but out of the 4 tumeral markers they test, only the CA125 was elevated leading them to believe I have endo (very small chance it is not endo)

– insulin levels were normal

– sugar was a 93 (whatever that means…guessing that’s normal as well)

– prolactin was a little elevated (right on the limit)

– androgens were normal (which is surprising…why do i have all this acne and hair?!)

All that to say I’m going in to have these endometrial cysts removed… right here around the holidays… lucky me. I did tell the doctor that I couldn’t do this mainly because my insurance wouldn’t cover infertility procedures. He assured me he would work everything out because this was not a fertility matter… I needed to get these things out. So he is scheduling an appt for me. I have no idea when it will be…I’ll just be anxiously waiting like I always do. Crazy thing is…I’m only afraid of the I.V. I pass out from getting blood drawn…I can’t imagine what getting an I.V. will do. Plus I’ve only been under once, to get my wisdom teeth out, and even that was not pleasant. I react strongly to anesthesia. My sister had two laparoscopies so I’m picking her brain for details. I guess this is the most non-invasive thing I could have done. Does anyone have any advice? How should I prepare for this?