not a good day.

Feeling quite down today. Like wanting to cry/crawl in a hole kind of a day. Not sure exactly why though? I guess it could be about the impending drama headed my way. I did have another appt today to have some labwork done. I told my DH last week my appt was at 1:30…he had planned to be there. Then last night at 11pm he told me he had a meeting at 1pm. I didn’t think this was a problem as I was meeting my mother for lunch today. I called her this morning and she had to cancel and would not be able to come with me to the RE either. Ordinarily this would not be a big deal…and I guess it really wasn’t…but there is always the chance I could pass out from giving blood. It’s happened before…and I come close everytime. So this was the first time I had to walk into that place…alone…and nervous. I did pretty good. Still get embaressed by demanding a bed. And the lightheadedness…hot flashes…I feel like such a wimp. So rested a bit and drank some cold water and finally was able to walk. I get so annoyed that there is so much about my body I can’t control. Also, it looks like my surgery may be scheduled mid january…15th or the 22nd…they are trying to coordinate with the oncologist. I should hear a definite by Friday…I’m not holding my breath.

DH wants to go out with friends tonight. I don’t know if I can muster up the energy. I’m thinking the grocery store is calling me…even though I don’t really want to do that either. But FEDEX dropped off a book I made through apple iphoto…I’m excited to see how it turned out. Hopefully it’s good…I need a perk!

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